Apolitical Aphorisms

If God wanted us to vote, he would
have given us candidates.

~Jay Leno~

The problem with republican political jokes is they get elected.

~Henry Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the
great ones to public office

~Aesop~

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.

~Clarence Darrow~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

~Author unknown~

republican politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~

A republican politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a republican politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day — just one — when
there is open season on republican senators.

~Hunter~

During a recent archeological dig on the US Capitol grounds they unearthed proof of early republicans.

~Fox Fantasy Report~